During the pandemic, I planted a whole row of iceberg roses near the garden border. I dreamt of a cluster of white roses swaying in the wind. Reality is generally different from our imaginations. Last year, due to drought, the roses didn’t grow or flower much. I was disappointed and blamed myself for not having watered them enough.
But then, lo and behold! We got so much rain this season that our dry lakes are overflowing and the state is no longer in drought! Well, that was a surprise! Now, my roses are growing vigorously and maybe I will get my nice hedge of iceberg roses with clusters of roses floating in the wind! I guess all I needed was patience.
Kind of like our life. Before we can take life’s challenges, we have to be cared for and loved. This is where parenting plays a major role.
Sometimes we wonder why the child doesn’t behave well in certain situations or relationships or society.
Remember, the child is like a tender shoot with great potential to grow big, beautiful, and bloom, where they will be planted. But before this transformation they need to be watered with love, given nutrients like kind loving words, and encouraged. Then we have to wait patiently for them to get strong before they take root in this world. This is when they are ready to thrive on their own.
When a young plant doesn’t do good, we pamper and shelter it from the sun and bad weather and then lovingly check on it every day to see how it’s doing.
Parenting is similar. When our kids feel down, stressed, or sad, we have to protect them from harsh words and mean people. We can’t leave them alone to face their struggles because they aren’t strong and rooted in the world yet.
A child living in tough environments is also not rooted in the world even though they face harsh conditions in their life. Here a nurturing adult can make a big difference. Through kind words and consistent presence, they can be a cooling shade on the child, protecting them from harsh conditions. A child, a teenager, and a young adult, all need protection and love from a harsh mean environment till they are rooted in strength and branched out.
Just as a young plant loses its initial leaves and gets new leaves when it starts growing, a child transforms into a different adult. Have you ever noticed that the leaves sprouting from seeds have a different shape than the new leaves ? How the plant looks at its birth is not similar to what it will look when fully mature.
What lesson can we learn from this?
We shouldn’t scream at our children or get upset at them. Remember, they haven’t developed their roots yet. They have to become acclimated to the world and grow their attitudes and develop their strengths. All of this will take time… years. Patience is needed from us as we love, encourage, and protect them.
As for me, I will continue to pamper my roses with plant food, water, and loads of love. Later in summer, I’ll enjoy my row of white roses fluttering in the garden!
